In this modern crazy world it isn’t always easy to support all the things that are important, after all there’s only so much time and energy in the day and many of us currently have a great deal of commitments, plus the number of commitments seem to grow each year rather than abate. Sometimes simply handling our job, keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table and tucking the children in, seems to be all we can manage before falling into bed ourselves. So how do we expand our abilities to cover all those extra things we dream of contributing to but instead commonly wind up in either the ‘too hard basket’ or the “one day I’m going to get around to…”
One thing we can do is take a look at how we empower or dis-empower ourselves. All day, everyday, we’re responding to the important things going on around us, occasionally with awareness but frequently simply from habitual patterns. And something I’ve found is that you can see by the way you feel whether you are responding with an unfavorable viewpoint or a positive one. If you are feeling great, ‘up’ or similarly feeling bad, or ‘down’. I know this seems deceptively easy but that’s its power. (It’s much easier to comprehend, remember and take action on simple things than complex ones.) You may be surprised the difference that merely having this awareness can make to your capacity to satisfy what’s essential to you.
I’ll offer you an example; I have actually wanted to get “around to” gardening and growing a permaculture garden. I’ve understood this is something that would support lots of commitments and values I have but I’ve discovered that I have actually talked about myself as someone who ‘isn’t a garden enthusiast’ and has ‘black thumbs’ (instead of green thumbs)! Plus “I’m simply renting, and I’m too busy, don’t understand what I’m doing, do not have money …” and on and on it goes. And all that feels yuk! It’s not what I want! It’s all arguing for limitation and incapability! Although I’ve subconsciously and repeatedly held these perspectives for a long time, no matter how many times I’ve repeated them they never seem to feel any better. If anything they have the tendency to feel even worse over time. So right here is the charm of this little trick. By being more and more connected to how I’m feeling and taking a look at the story I’m telling myself I can make up a more empowering story and when I’m feeling more empowered I’m more likely to take positive action. I have actually started gardening and I’m truly enjoying it, I’m taking pleasure in learning and I’m creating for myself an empowering context now like “it’s ok if some plants don’t survive, since what’s important is that I develop my confidence and find out what works and what doesn’t from my own experience”
An entire world of opportunity has actually opened up. It thrills me and what thrills me the most, even more than the sight of little green natural shapes, is the sensation that I’m growing in the direction that I want and I’ve stopped getting in my own way! Hooray!
Now of course we’re all different. I do not expect there to be many people reading this blog site who’ve been stopping themselves from gardening. In sharing an example from my own life, my intention is for you to equate it to some area that is essential to you, where possibly you have actually been arguing for limitation instead of for what you truly desire.
Now the story you’ve been telling will be different to the one I have actually shared and right here’s where the benefit of noticing your feelings exposes itself. You’re not searching for a certain type of story, you’re on the watch for a bad feeling and when you observe this sensation your job is to then observe what the story is right now that you’re telling, today. Then you can notice as you play with the story and try telling variations of it that are a little more empowering , how they feel somewhat different.
Please note: don’t choose the polar opposite “I can do anything” story, that does not work. If you’ve been telling yourself a negative story for a while, the mind will simply reject a favorable version “Yeah right! Like I can believe that!” and you will not feel better, you’ll just feel inauthentic, like a fraud. You don’t need to turn over a brand-new leaf, simply soften the old one a little. If the new version feels slightly better then you’re on the best track. Keep going, see if you can soften it a little bit more.
Now if you discover that in your story instead of it being some unfavorable opinion of yourself negating your personal power, you discover in your story that it’s another person that you’re using as your excuse for not having what you desire. Have fun with it. (If fun seems a bit extreme at first then simply try to be open minded enough to imagine other perspectives) Although it might appear like it’s out of your control, the power to change things or keep them as they are, is over there with them. But that’s not true, it’s still you. It’s your mind and you have the power to change it. You may have to give up the blame though, that’s the hardest bit – having a scape-goat is so seductive. You get to play the part of the ‘hard done by victim’ in your own mind or you can claim back your power. When I find myself in situations like that, I like to ask myself the question, “If I was creating this whole situation to ultimately deliver the things I want most in my life, then what is this situation delivering?” You may find the answers that come to you both surprising and revealing, but most of all empowering; it’s not about ‘them’ anymore, it’s your deepest heartfelt desires that are driving the conversation and being present to the fulfillment of those, instead of the temporary obstacle. So much more satisfying and rewarding, don’t you think?
These are just a few examples of things you can do for yourself every day. And as you do it more frequently it will become second nature to you.
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